Practical Parenting

A resource for parents to learn, lead and love their children through all steps of their lives.

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Part 3: Family Activities that Instill……Respect!

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Every parent wants their child to be respectful to them and grow up with respect not only for themselves but for others as well. Often parents will tell the child to, “Say thank you to the lady.” or “Ask your friend nicely if you can play along or use his pen or ball.” Remember it doesn’t help forcing respect upon your children, if you yourself don’t display some respect towards others and your children (and don’t forget yourselves)! You’ve heard of: ” what they see and hear is what they do”. Be a good example!

“Respect….. is a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something considered important or held in high esteem or regard. It conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities. And it is also the process of honoring someone by exhibiting care, concern, or consideration for their needs or feelings.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respect

I am a Sesame Street Fan, because they just put it so much better…. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOzrAK4gOSo, view the video with your younger kids before trying out the games and activities below to help with understanding and spreading the respect in the household.

Family-Activities-that-Instill-RespectDownload

There are some real fun activities and some self-esteem boosters…try them out, it also just helps with bonding the family and getting the members back on track with remembering what each person in the family is worthy for.

Part 2: Family Activities that Instill……. Co-operation

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I once heard of a great acronym for TEAM, which I often recall to client’s of mine: Together Everyone Achieves More. That is what teamwork is all about…., working together to achieve more and being more effective in fulfilling the task.

Parents often find that they want their children to be more part of the family (team) and contributing and co-operating, be it in the household chores or your usual typical routines, like family dinners, outings and games. Basically it’s about doing it TOGETHER! Each one contributing their skill, knowledge, energy and enthusiasm. And of course, appreciating each one’s input.

I love the way Wikipedia defines Co-operation: “Cooperation is the process of groups of organisms working or acting together for common, mutual, or some underlying benefit, as opposed to working in competition for selfish benefit. Many animal and plant species cooperate both with other members of their own species and with members of other species.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooperation

So help teach your children to benefit working together rather than being selfish. Sesame Street says it or sings it better….co-op…, co-op…, co-ooooperation!!! Here is a simple video showing what co-operation is all about, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kihZUsADQTQ

Now, try these activities out with your children to help teach and implement and instill CO-OPERATION!

Co-operation-Family-ActivitiesDownload

Let me know how effective the TEAM was.

Have fun!

Part1: Family Activities That Instill…. Empathy.

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You’ve heard of “Put yourself in someone else’s shoes.” Sometimes parents tell me how their child just doesn’t understand their sibling’s emotions or feelings and can be so mean to their brother or sister, or how the teen just doesn’t understand why their parent is concerned about them when they are out and just need a check-up call, or how a young child wants his own way all the time (very egocentric).

“Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another’s position.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy

Sesame Street with the “Hulk” (Mark Ruffalo) explains Empathy quite simply (and fun): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS7Vh01zNOY

Following are some games or activities (5years-adults) you and the family can play together at the dinning room table or on the carpet after dinner, to help understand and enhance Empathy.

Empathy-Family-ActivitiesDownload

Enjoy the time together and experiencing Empathy.

What is wrong with my child?

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As a therapist, I am confronted with worrisome, concerned, frustrated and exhausted parents…. that have had enough or no longer know what to do with their child’s behaviour, or notice something unusual or out of the norm. Sometimes the behaviours or mannerisms are noticed by the parents themselves or parents receive feedback from the teachers.

The unfortunate thing is when parents don’t do anything about it, because they don’t have the knowledge or the resources, or have a lack of awareness and understanding and may misinterpret the behaviour or mannerism as “naughty”. . . Some parents are ignorant and may say how the child will just grow out of it, and then don’t seek help immediately. But in actual fact we are doing the children a disservice. It may be a mental health problem or disorder of some kind. If it is not addressed, the disorder or problem can lead to risk for academic failure, substance abuse and a clash with the juvenile justice system — all of which come at a tremendous cost for the parents, their families and the community.

I came across the Child Mind Institute, an organization based in USA. They came up with a brilliant tool on their website called the Symptom Checker https://childmind.org/symptomchecker/.

‘Here’s how it works:

You indicate the behaviors that are making you concerned about your child by answering a series of questions. The Symptom Checker analyzes your answers to give you a list of psychiatric or learning disorders that are associated with those symptoms.

Since individual symptoms can reflect more than one disorder, this tool will give you a range of possibilities and guide you toward next steps. This tool cannot diagnose your child, but it can help you inform yourself about possible diagnoses and will offer information and articles to help you learn about them, to facilitate a conversation with a professional.”

Check it out….. it can guide you in the right direction…..

PARENTS! How NOT to be REACTIVE!

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“Jonathan! How many times have I told you to pick up your shoes and put them in your room! I am gonna end up breaking my neck, falling over them. Stop, misbehaving and listen for once!”

“Why do you keep asking, Jessica? For goodness sakes, I already said NO, you cannot have sweets before dinner! DO NOT backchat and roll your eyes at me!”

“Musa! Hurry up! We are going to be late for school. Put down that iPad already and get to the car! How many times do I have to tell you! Juuust you watch, tomorrow morning you shall not have any iPad time.”

Do these sound familiar? Are you the parent that just cannot handle how your kids JUST DON”T LISTEN……and how they are rude and disrespectful?! Are you being a reactive parent?

[Read more…] about PARENTS! How NOT to be REACTIVE!